30 plus volume 2

life was hard in my early 30's but it was fulfilling i was a dad for the first time and married and although the financial woes were horrible. i was determined to pull ahead of every obstacle that stood before me. all but one. one that i never expected to be a problem and that was the inlaws. you see some people never realize how jealousy can affect someone. it can turn you against your bestfriend, if you let it. but yet there it stood with people who didn't know me from the jump. here i was an african american man married to a filipino woman and that in itself was unacceptable to some. no i wasn't a drug dealer and no i wasn't a womanizer or even an abusive person. but still hate exsisted. now what was i to do. well the choice for me was easy. and that was to keep on doing what i always did. stay focused and not let the people around me bring their bullshit to my life. now for me this was easy because i have always been like that. you see getting married means that you chose your spouse over everyone else. they become your bestfriend. together you can go far, but seperate your not going anywhere. and thats what this problem was all about. although me and lisa loved eachother very much we were in fact from different worlds. we were very different. and it showed during this course of problems.

sometimes you never want to think that the people closest to you are out to hurt you, but the truth is they are more likely to do it than anyone else, mainly because they feel that because they are family, they get a free pass. well not with me you don't. i stood my ground on this and i never swayed from it. the moment you stop putting me first and allow others to disrespect our marriage the more likely and definitely we won't make it. and this problem stood in the way for a while man. it was just something that wasn't going away. but like all problems, you have to deal with them and get rid of them. and thats exactly what we did.

now of course being the person that i am, i believe very strongly in family, i grew up with a loving family but chaos was again at my front door so i did what i do best. fcous on the positive and turn the page.

next chapter the barnes family gains success, yes there is a rainbow at the end of the sky finally age 33