THE NO-FRIEND CLAUSE CHAPT 3

ITS FUNNY I CAN LOOK AT MY OWN LIFE AND MAKE THE COMPARISON OF MANY WHO HAD SO-CALLED FRIENDS BACK IN THE DAY. BUT AS I GOT OLDER I REALIZED THAT THE FEWER PEOPLE IN MY CIRCLE THE BETTER. SOMETIMES WHEN YOU SURROUND YOURSELF BY TOO MANY INDIVIDUALS YOU ARE VERY EASILY PLAYED. AND ITS BEST TO TRY TO AVOID THAT IN MY OPINION. BEING TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF IS NEVER FUN WHETHER IT BE IN A FRIENDSHIP OR A RELATIONSHIP FOR THAT MATTER. MOST DO IT BECAUSE OF THEIR OWN INSECURITIES. THEY FEEL THAT THEY ARE BETTER THAN YOU FOR WHAT EVER REASON IF THERE IS IN FACT ONE. WHO KNOWS. BUT THIS IS THE WAY THAT THEY FEEL. AMONG THE PEOPLE THAT I KNEW, I WASN'T THE FIRST TO HAVE KIDS, CERTAINLY WASN'T THE FIRST TO GET MARRIED, AND I WASN'T THE FIRST TO MAKE IT IF THATS THE WORD FOR IT. BUT AT AGE 36, I DID ALL OF THOSE THINGS AND I FEEL LIKE I'M THE LAST MAN STANDING. WHY ? IS THE QUESTION.

I THINK ITS BECAUSE I WENT THROUGH EVERYTHING THAT I WAS SUPPOSE TO GO THROUGH , WHEN I WAS SUPPOSE TO GO THROUGH IT. YES I STRUGGLED, BUT I DID IT AT A TIME BEFORE I WAS MARRIED BEFORE I HAD CHILDREN BEFORE I HAD ANY REAL RESPONSIBILITIES. GOING THROUGH THIS BUILDS CHARACTER , BECAUSE WHEN YOU FINALLY ARRIVE YOU KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THINGS BETTER, YOU KNOW HOW TO BALANCE EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE AND MOST IMPORTANTLY YOU KNOW HOW TO REMAIN HUMBLE BECAUSE YOU NEVER WANT TO LOSE THAT. ITS LIKE THAT GUY THAT WE ALL KNOW THAT SEEMS TO HAVE HAD THE EASY ROAD IN LIFE BUT THEN LOSES EVERYTHING BECAUSE THEIR HEAD GOT SO BIG. NEVER THAT!

NEVER LOSE FOCUS ON WHAT YOU WANT TO BE AND MOST IMPORTANTLY NEVER LOSE MEMORY OF WHERE YOU COME FROM. BECAUSE IN THE END YOU'LL FIND YOURSELF BY YOURSELF. YEP

THE NO-FRIEND CLAUSE CHAPT2

TIME CHANGES EVERYTHING DOESN'T. IT CAN HEAL HEARTBREAKS, IT TENDS TO HELP YOU BECOME MUCH MORE WISE AND MUCH MORE MATURE. I THINK WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE. AT AGE 36 I STILL FEEL LIKE I'M LEARNING KNEW THINGS ABOUT LIFE IN GENERAL EVERYDAY. I STILL OF COURSE KEEP THE BASIC FOUNDATION AND THATS KEEP MY CIRCLE SMALL. THATS MEANS LET NO ONE IN, EVEN IF THEY ARE KNOCKING AT THE DOOR. THIS ISN'T ABOUT BEING A JERK , THIS IS ABOUT PROTECTING YOU AND THE PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT AND LOVE. AND ALTHOUGH THIS IS SOMETHING THAT IN MY OPINION WE SHOULD ALL DO, SOME PEOPLE TEND TO MISTAKE FORGIVENESS AS A SIGN OF WEAKNESS. YOU CAN CERTAINLY FORGIVE THE PEOPLE THAT MISTREAT YOU BUT DO NOT PUT YOURSELF IN THE SAME SITUATION FOR IT TO HAPPEN AGAIN. YOU GOTTA BE SMARTER THAN THAT. THE TRUTH IS YOU MAY THINK THAT YOUR FRIENDS WANT TO SEE YOU HAPPY BUT MOST DO NOT. THEY WANT TO SEE YOU AS MISERABLE AS THEY ARE. IF YOUR MARRIED , THEY DON'T WANT TO GO TO YOUR WEDDING . THEY WANT TO SEE YOU GET A DIVORCE JUST LIKE THEM. SO THAT YOU CAN GET YOUR ALL EXPENSES PAID MEMBERSHIP CARD TO THE MARRIED FOR NO REASON AND DIVORCED FOR EVERY REASON CLUB. IF YOU ARE RASING YOUR KIDS AS A FAMILY THEY DON'T WANT TO SEE THAT, THEY WANT TO SEE YOU HAVE SEVERAL BABY MOTHERS OR FATHERS LIKE THEM. THEY WANT TO HAVE SOMEONE TO SHARE THEIR MISERY WITH.

REMEMBER THAT FRIEND WE ALL KNEW THAT WAS THE FIRST ONE OUT THE GATE TO GET MARRIED. THEY WERE BRAGGING AND TALKING LIKE THEIR LIFE WAS SET. NOTHING COULD STOP THEM. THEY HAD MET THE PERFECT INDIVIDUAL AND NEEDED NO ONE ELSE EVEN IF THAT MEANT YOU! THEY WERE SO EXCITED . 5 YEARS WENT BY AND YOU SAW THEMWITH WIFE OR HUSBAND #3. THEY SKIPPED RIGHT PASS BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND #2. YEAH WE GOTTA DIG DEEPER INTO THIS AS WE EXAMINE HOW WE TREAT THESE INDIVIDUALS WHEN THEY MAKE THAT ATTEMPT TO COME BACK. NEXT CHAPTER PEOPLE

THE NO - FRIEND CLAUSE CHAPT.1

I DECIDED TO WRITE THIS PIECE ABOUT FRIENDS AND WHO ARE THEY TO US REALLY. DO WE REALLY NEED THEM. WELL IN A WAY OF COURSE WE DO. IT FEELS GREAT DOESN'T IT TO HAVE THAT GROUP OF INDIVIDUALS THAT YOU CAN HANG OUT WITH AND TRUST AND JUST HAVE SOME FORM OF RELEASE FROM YOUR EVERYDAY LIFE. BUT DOES THIS EXSIST IN THEORY OR REALITY. I SAY IT CAN EXSIST IN BOTH.

FOR ME I TEND TO KEEP MY CIRCLE SMALL. THE PEOPLE AROUND ME I CONSIDER FAMILY. THE REST I CONSIDER PEOPLE I MAY OR MAY NOT ASSOCIATE WITH. HEY TAKE IT AS IT IS, BUT ITS TRUE. YOU CAN'T TRUST EVERYONE SO WHY PUT YOURSELF IN A POSITION TO FAIL. ITS FUNNY HOW FACEBOOK TIES INTO THIS. THERE ARE INDIVIDUALS THAT REQUEST ME AND SAY HI AS IF WE WERE EVER COOL, ESPECIALLY THE ONES WHO HAVE BURNED ME IN THE PASS. REALITY CHECK. WE'RE NOT COOL. AND I THINK THATS MY POINT. MOST INDIVIDUALS WHO SEEMED TO PLAY THAT ROLE END UP BY THEMSELVES ANYWAYS AND THEN TEND TO TRY TO ASSOCIATE THEMSELVES WITH THE SAME INDIVIDUALS THEY BURNED IN THE FIRST PLACE. THATS WHEN YOU GOTTA HIT THE DELETE BUTTON AND I DON'T MEAN THE ONE ON THE COMPUTER. ITS FUNNY HOW I CAN LOOK BACK THEN AND FAST FORWARD TO NOW. I GOTTA LAUGH I MEAN WHO DIDN'T SEE THIS COMMING. WHEN YOUR FOCUSED AND TRYING TO BETTER YOURSELF YOUR NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ANYONE, ONCE YOU MAKE IT, YOUR EVERYONES IDOL. I CAN'T COUNT HOW MANY TIMES SOMEONE HAS SAID TO ME WOW YOUR DOING GOOD OR GREAT EVEN AND WOW YOU SEEM TO BE HAPPY. I FIND THAT CRAP HILARIOUS. TO KNOW SOMEONE IS KNOW HOW THEY TICK. AND ONLY MY CIRCLE KNOWS THAT. IF YOU KNEW ME IN THE PASS ITS A REASON I DON'T DEAL WITH YOU NOW. WE BOTH KNOW WHY THAT REASON IS SO WHY EVEN TRY. YOUR ATTEMPT WILL GET KNOCKED DOWN FROM THE JUMP BECAUSE ONCE AGAIN YOU CANNOT TRUST EVERYONE. YOU HAVE TO SEE THAT ATTEMPT AS A PATHETIC CRY FOR HELP FROM SOMEONE WHO THOUGHT THEY WERE BETTER AND ENDED UP LOOKING AT THEMSELVES IN THE MIRROR AND FINDING OUT THAT THEY WERE ABSENT THE DAY THAT BRAINS AND COMMON SENSE WAS HANDED OUT.

I LIKE TO CALL THIS THEORY THE REVERSE SYNDROME. I CAN REMEMBER GUYS I KNEW THAT SOLD DRUGS AND CLAIMED THEY WERE MAKING THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS A NIGHT. NOW I SEE THESE SAME GUYS ON THE BUS STOP AS I'M DRIVING THROUGH. I SEE THE GUYS WHO USED TO HAVE A LEXUS NOW HAVE A GET OUT AND PUSH IT. SOME MAY LOOK AT THIS AND SAY OH LORD HE'S BRAGGING BUT I'M NOT. YOU SEE ALOT OF FRIENDSHIPS AND RELATIONSHIPS UNFORTUNATELY WERE BUILT ON MATERIALISTICS. SOME PEOPLE WOULDN'T EVEN DEAL WITH YOU IF THEY FELT THAT YOU DIDN'T HAVE THE SAME TYPE OF CLOTHES OR CAR. AND SOME PEOPLE WOULDN'T DATE YOU IF THEY FELT THAT YOU COULDN'T SPOIL THEM. AND ONCE AGAIN YOU PRESS THE FAST FORWARD BUTTON AND ITS WEIRD. THATS GOTTA TRULY SUCK FOR THOSE INDIVIDUALS. AS FOR ME I ALWAYS STAY GROUNDED AND THANKFUL. I KNOW THAT ME AND MY FAMILY ARE TRULY BLESSED AND I WOULD NEVER DENY THAT. BUT I'LL NEVER FORGET WHERE I COME FROM. I'LL NEVER FORGET THAT I CAME UP POOR. I'LL NEVER FORGET THAT I TOO AT ONE POINT WAS ON THE BUS STOP. I'LL NEVER FORGET THAT SOME DUMMIES DIDN'T INCLUDE ME IN THEIR PLANS BECAUSE MAYBEY THEY FELT THAT I WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH. AND NOW ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU WANT TO KNOW ME, YOU MISS ME OR SOMETHING. WHAT IN THE BLUE HELL IS THIS! WE GOTTA GET INTO THIS PEOPLE BECAUSE I TRULY THINK THAT EVERYONE AT SOME POINT HAS BEEN A VICTIM OF THIS. STAY TUNE FOR CHAPT 2 LETS GO!

DOES A ONE NIGHT STAND CHANGE YOUR VIEW OF A POSSIBLE RELATIONSHIP WITH AN INDIVIDUAL CHAPT 3

when it comes to blogging the thing i hate most about doing it is that sometimes it tends to seem like i generalize individuals. of course its not my intention. the blogs are not meant for that purpose but the truth is this is the time in which we live. life is very different than what of us are acustomed to and i can say that at 36 years old how much its changed since i was younger. sex has become more of a recreational activity than an intimate connection. most people have had more sexual partners than joan collins have been married and thats on dynasty and in reality. its so far fetched to believe that everyone has morals. just because you see a wedding ring on their finger doesn't mean that they are faithful. just because you see someone with their significant other doesn't mean that thats the way they live their life 24/7. now of course there are some people that do the right thing , but unfortunatley there are more that don't than what there are that do.

for instance look at the divorce rate. people aren't getting divorced because someone forgot to get the groceries that day. people are getting marrried to the wrong type of individuals for the wrong reasons and ending up ass out after only a few years. And they are wondering why? truth is they know why. you can't put your feelings and trust into everyone you lay down with. thats the ultimate hell no. you need to be cautious with everyone you meet and everyone you open your heart to. so yes in my opinion a one night stand changes my view on everything. i think that if i engaged in something like that. it would even change my view of me.

thanks everyone for reading my blog, i'm going there in my next blog and mystery. whose baby is it? comming up next!

DOES A ONE NIGHT STAND CHANGE YOUR VIEW OF A POSSIBLE RELATIONSHIP WITH AN INDIVIDUAL CHAPT 2

FIRST OFF WE MUST DEFINE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SEX AND LOVE. JUST BECAUSE YOU FUCK SOMEONE DOESN'T MEAN THAT THEY LOVE YOU OR THAT YOU LOVE THEM. ALOT OF MEN AND WOMEN FALL FOR THIS. SEX IS JUST WHAT IT IS. ITS SEX. YOU GET NAKED FUCK FOR A FEW ROUNDS CLIMAX TO THE FULLEST AND WHEN ITS DONE AND HOPEFULLY IT WAS GOOD, IT ENDS THERE. THERE ARE NO FEELINGS INVOLVED DURING THESE ONE NIGHT STANDS. ITS JUST THE ALCOHOL AND THE FACT THAT MAYBEY YOU'VE BEEN HORNY FOR THE PAST FEW MONTHS. AND IT AMAZES ME HOW WOMEN TEND TO ACT LIKE ONLY MEN FEEL THIS WAY AND PLAY THIS GAME. PUMP YOUR BREAKS. WOMEN DO THE SAME THING. THEY ARE QUICK TO FUCK YOU AND AFTERWARDS GO HOME TO THEIR BABY'S FATHER. THATS WHAT THEY DO. NOW NOT ALL MEN AND WOMEN ARE THIS WAY OBVIOUSLY BUT THERE ARE ENOUGH OF THEM THAT ARE FOR MY STATEMNT OF FACTS TO BE TRUE. YOU SEE WHEN YOUR IN A RELATIONSHIP, YOU REALLY DON'T GAIN ALOT OF EXPERIENCE FROM THAT. THERE ARE SO MANY MEN AND WOMEN THAT HAVE BEEN IN NOTHING BUT RELATIONSHIPS. THATS NOT EXPERIENCE. THATS LIKE DRIVING IN ONE LANE. NOW WHERE EXPERIENCE COMES INTO PLAY IS DATING. WHEN YOU DATE YOU GET A CHANCE TO WEIGH YOUR OPTIONS TO FIND YOUR LIKES AND DISLIKES AND TO ALMOST BUILD THE TYPE OF PARTNER THAT YOU WANT IN YOUR LIFE. NOW ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS FIND THAT INDIVIDUAL THAT HAS THOSE QUALITIES THAT YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO. YOU CAN'T FIND THIS IN BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP. DATING IS THE BEST WAY. IT GIVES YOU THE OPPORTUNITY TO STAND BACK AND OBSERVE WITHOUT GOING ALL IN AND THROWING YOUR HEART OUT THERE. THEN YOU CAN TAKE THAT CHANCE. ITS THERE IN THE DATING SCENE THAT YOU WILL FIND THAT YES MOST MEN ARE FULL OF SHIT BUT ALSO MOST WOMEN ARE TOO. IS IT FAIR HELL NO! BUT STILL IT IS TRUE. AND YOU CAN'T CONFUSE THIS THEORY WITH A GOOD ONE NIGHT STAND OF SEX. SEX IS ALL PHYSICAL THATS IT. NOW ONCE YOU'VE GAINED AN INTEREST IN SOMEONE NOW THATS A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT BALL GAME. SO I ASK YOU AGAIN CAN YOU REALLY HAVE A FUTURE WITH SOMEONE THAT YOU'VE HAD A ONE NIGHT STAND WITH. DON'T GET IT TWISTED YOUR NOT THE ONLY ONE THEY FUCKED THAT QUICK. TRUST ME ON THAT. NEXT CHAPTER

DOES A ONE NIGHT STAND CHNAGE YOUR VIEW OF A POSSIBLE RELATIONSHIP WITH AN INDIVIDUAL CHAPT 1

OK SO I WAS LISTENING TO ONE OF MY FAVORITE SHOWS ON SIRUS RADIO. ITS CALLED COCKTAILS WITH PATRICK AND THEY BROUGHT UP AN INTERESTING TOPIC. AND I REALLY HAD TO THINK BACK ON THIS WONDERING IF A ONE NIGHT STAND CHANGED MY PERCEPTION OF A PERSON. AND I GOTTA SAY IT DID AND IT DIDN'T. I WAS ON BOTH SIDES OF THE FENCE ON THIS ONE BECAUSE BACK WHEN I WAS SINGLE IT WASN'T LIKE SEX WAS JUST KNOCKING AT THE DOOR OR ANYTHING. I MEAN LETS BE HONEST. WE ALL HAVE THOSE DAYS WHERE WE ARE EXTREMELY HORNY. AND I MEAN THATS WHAT A ONE NIGHT STAND CAN DO FOR YOU. NOW IT ALSO DEPENDS ON THE PERSON THAT YOUR HAVING THE ONE NIGHT STAND WITH. IF YOUR FALLING FOR A PERSON THAT YOU ARE DATING YOU GOTTA HOLD BACK ON THE SEX A BIT. THATS RIGHT FELLAS IF YOU HAVE BLUE BALLS, A FEW MORE WEEKS OR MONTHS WON'T MAKE THAT MUCH OF A DIFFERENCE NOW WILL IT. I THINK IT CAN BE REALLY DIFFICULT TO HAVE A ONE NIGHT STAND WITH SOMEONE AND CONSIDER THEM A POTENTIAL BOY/GIRL FRIEND. BUT THEN THEY COULD BE THINKING THE SAME THING ABOUT YOU AS WELL. I THINK IT SORT OF GOES ALONG WITH THAT WHOLE THEORY SOMETIMES SEX IS JUST SEX AND YOU SHOULD LEAVE IT AT THAT. NOW HOPEFULLY THE SEX IS GOOD SEX. BUT STILL THATS ALL IT WAS. BOTH MEN AND WOMEN HAVE HAD CERTAIN INSTANCES WHERE THATS ALL IT WAS TO THEM. YOU WENT IN, FUCKED YOUR BRAINS OUT AND AT THE END OF THE NIGHT THERE WASN'T MUCH LEFT TO SAY. BUT TO LOOK AT THAT PERSON AND SAY HEY I THINK I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU, SCARES THE HELL OUT OF ME.

I THINK SO MANY PEOPLE CONFUSE THE TWO AND I MYSELF HAVE DONE THIS IN THE PAST. SOMETIMES YOU DATE A PERSON AND YOUR PHYSICALLY ATTRACTED TO THEM AND YOU CAN JUST IMAGINE THEM NAKED EVEN IF THEIR STANDING IN FRONT OF YOU WITH A SKI SUIT ON READY TO HIT THE SLOPES. AND ONCE YOU HAVE SEX WITH THEM IT SORT OF RUINS THE MOMENT FOR ANYTHING THAT COULD POSSIBLY GO FURTHER. AND IN THE BACK OF YOUR MIND YOUR THINKING WOW THAT SEX WAS GREAT! BUT I WONDER IF I WAS THE ONLY PERSON THEY HAS SEX WITH THAT QUICK. WELL ODDS ARE YOU AREN'T AND NEXT CHAPTER WE WILL DIG INTO WHY.

REAL MEN WHERE PANTS THAT FIT chapt 4

one of the major problems with men in general is that they refuse to change their ways. some feel they will never work a 9 to 5 job. some feel that they are gonna purchase the highest fashion and drive the most expensive car even if they can't afford it. others are even more dumb founded. they believe sending 20 bucks and a pack fo pampers is rasing a child and they wonder why their asses is getting hit up for child support.

this is a major problem. but knowing that is does exsist, why not break the cycle. why not after you see that miracle of your son or daughter being born, be a father to your children. raise your kids. they need us men in their lives. now more than ever. if your pockets can't afford something don't buy it. downsize if possible to live more comfortable. remember nice clothes don't pay the bills.

also treat women with respect. yes i agree that there are very few good women out here but that doesn't mean that you have to stero-type them all and treat them like their name was bertha. women deserve better than that. everything is a risk. and somethings are risks worth taking.

i wanna show love to all the real men that are wearing the pants that fit them. assuming the roles that they have to play as fathers husbands, and in the work force. its so few of us so we gotta keep it going for the idiots that haven't gotten a clue yet.

ok thanks for reading my blogs stay tune for my next mystery. comming up next entitled. the unfaithful faithful.

real men where pants that fit chapt 3

the truth is most men don't mind wearing pants that are too damn big for them because there is always a woman unfortunately willing to help them hold their pants up. why is the question. its like the whole good girls love bad boys syndrome. i'd rather call it smart girls love stupid boys. and this is true. how many women do we know fall for that guy who doesn't have a job or has no clue in life whats so ever, has like 5 kids by 4 different women but they love him though. NEGRO PLEASE! thats pathetic but it does exsist. i will never understand why ? but this is my opinion. most men go for a certain type of woman. they aim for the type thats usually air headed with no direction in life. this way the woman is less likely to see how much of a dumbass he really is. and men become thrilled at this. its a game to them. they don't mind spending tons of money or what ever it takes to keep the trophy wife happy but once reality sets in, the woman finds out that the man was so damn broke that if somebody attempeted to rob him, they would just be practicing. and its not a self esteem thing. its a mental thing. if you tell any air head the right words, he or she, and i'll repeat that, because men are air heads too. he or she will fall for anything. and i ask myself what is the point of doing this if you call yourself a man.

well the truth is your not one. real men don't try to wear pants that are too damn big for them. its almost like your dumbass is searching in the big and tall section and your only 130 pounds. being a player as a man is stupid. believing that you'll never get caught is even worse. but they try don't they. whether it be the guy who claims he makes 165,000 a year or the guy who claims that he is an engineer. both are likely to be lies, but here is the kicker once again. women fall for this type all of the time. and then they wonder why they can't find anyone. how many women do we know are in their 30's looking for a boyfriend. they forgot that when they were in their 20's they were running around fucking everything that walked, having kids by these men and all of a sudden they are mature now. now thats funny. men get a thrill out of this. because they know that a woman is even more likely to fall for them at this point because they seemed to be despearate.

its ashame , both can be the blame for this game because each sex plays theri part in this. next chapter we will look at men that don't change.

REAL MEN WHERE PANTS THAT FIT chapt 2

speaking as a man and from a male perspective, i gotta say that there are far too few real men in this world. and yes it goes for women as well because they are certainly not innocent but that topic is for another blog. its ashame what i see when i look at the boys that i grew up with that became so called men, and even men i don't know and may just happen to bump into and have a conversation with. they just seem to have things figured out ass backward. and it starts with having yourself together as a man. you see back in the day i guess it was cool to sell crack on the corners and bank so much money per night and because you did this you considered yourself to be a man. now that time has moved on and by the way it does, not sure if these individuals looked at that. most men seemed lost. like they don't have a fuckin clue about anything. most couldn't even write a check if you gave them the pen. and i wonder at what point does the light come on people. as man there are several things that need to be clear for you to even call yourselves that. you need to first have a job. and i don't mean some rinky dink job. and i have a problem with this. i remember having this discussion with some people at a barbershop that i used to go to. we all knew this guy and yeah he was a loser we all knew it. but these guys were taking up for him saying well he may not have a good job but he works and that is all that matters. yes maybey at 18 and 19 but at 35 you got to be fucking kidding me. that shit will never fly. once you hit a certain age you have to understand how important it is to have a job that will provide for you and your family. this is a must. working some bull shit job that puts enough money in your pockets to get a number 3 and large coke just doesn't cut it at this point in life. being a father of two i know how expensive it is to raise children and i just could never see myself turning to them and saying wow i would love to get you the clothes that you need and to put food in your stomach but i can't because i don't make enough but at least i work though. BULL SHIT! you have to have a stronger head on your shoulders than that. ok next you have to be able to maintain yourself as an adult. this means to have a job and health insurance of some sort. i hate it when i see men settle for these jobs that if they don't work they don't get paid. man how crazy is that. if your sick or have to take time off shouldn't you get paid for that. sick time , personal days, floating holidays get a clue. now on to the financial picture, you must have a bank account. do not i repeat do not go down in the city and cash your paychecks at "WE CASH CHECKS HERE AND ALSO SELL CELL PHONES AND HAIR PRODUCTS AND BURGERS!" NO! at this point in your life you need to be able to either take your paycheck to the bank or have it direct deposited into your bank account. also have enough sense to purchase life insurance for yourself, spouse and children. you have to be responsible and if you have a car, do not drive it if you do not have a license. better yet don't purchase a car unless you can put the car legally in your own name with insurance. if you can't do that, then your ass doesn't need to have a car in the first place.

you see alot of people think that making it or finally getting there as a man is having the lexus and the house or condo and its not. its simply taking the steps to be a responsible adult. no one is perfect we all make mistakes but to sit there and wait for some miracle to happen thats gonna change your entire life is pathetic and unrealistic.

its amazing when i see this and the funny thing is that there are more men that are in this situation than there are men that really have there shit together. there are more men living to look good instead of living to be better off. and the worse part is women fall for this and we will look at why next chapter.

ok gotta put this in, i'm probably pissing alot of people off right now, yeah i guess so, always remember that my blogs are written from my point of view they are not meant to disrespect or offend anyone. with that said next chapter see you there.

REAL MEN WHERE PANTS THAT FIT chapt 1

ITS AMAZING TO ME HOW MEN ACT THESE DAYS. I MEAN WHAT IS THIS VELVET? ITS LIKE THEY ARE ALLERGIC TO GETTING A JOB AND PAYING BILLS AND TAKING CARE OF THEIR KIDS OR SOMETHING. I WOULD HAVE NEVER GUESSED THERE WAS A DISEASE YOU COULD CATCH FROM DOING ALL OF THAT. MY OUT LOOK IS VERY SIMPLE IN THIS BLOG. REAL MEN NEED TO WEAR THE PANTS THAT FIT THEM. IF YOUR GONNA WEAR THEM HANGING OFF YOUR ASS, THEN GO THE FUCK BACK TO THE MINOR LEAGUES UNTIL YOUR READY TO WALK WITH THE BIG DOGGS RUFF RUFF BARK !

NOW THE PANTS THAT I AM TALKING ABOUT AREN'T THE CLOTHES THAT YOU PUT ON. THE PANTS CAN BE CONSIDERED THE ROLE THAT YOU ASSUME AS A MAN FOR INSTANCE AND I'M GOING THERE PEOPLE. IF YOUR HAVING SEX WITH YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER AND YOU FEEL YOURSELF ABOUT TO CUM AND FOR SOME REASON YOU DECIDE HMMM. THIS SHIT FEELS SO DAMN GOOD I JUST MIGHT STAY IN HERE A BIT AS IF YOU COULD HOLD IT BACK, YEAH RIGHT. THEN YOUR ASS IS READY TO ASSUME FATHER HOOD. I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT IT WAS A MISTAKE. NO A MISTAKE WOULD BE LETTING YOU GET SOME PUSSY IN THE FIRST PLACE. BE A FUCKING MAN FOR ONCE. SURE THE SEX WAS GOOD. I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT. SURE YOU DIDN'T WANT TO WEAR A CONDOM BECAUSE THE TWO OF YOU HAD BEEN TOGETHER FOR A WHILE AND WERE COMFORTABLE WITH EVERYTHING. I DON'T CONDONE THAT BUT I CERTAINLY HAVE HEARD OF THIS. BUT THE MOMENT YOU CUM INSIDE OF HER YOU WANT TO RUN AWAY LIKE THE KENYAN TEAM IN THE OLYMPICS. I HOPE YOUR ASS GET THE GOLD MEDAL.

YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME, FOLLOW ME AS WE EXAMINE THIS BEHAVIOR. AND WHY ITS SUCH A LARGE PROBLEM OVER ALL. AND MOST OF ALL WHAT CAN BE DONE ABOUT IT. NEXT CHAPTER PEOPLE

WHAT MAKES A WOMAN A GOLD DIGGER chapter 4

i couldn't believe it right in front of us his wife sat down at the bar and some guy just walks in and sits beside her and starts talking. he orders a few drinks and they start giggling and laughing. now dude got upset, he automatically assumed that she was cheating, and she may have been but i told him to just chill and let this whole thing play out. you had to wonder what brought her to a place like that to meet a guy in the first place, she knew he was going out but did she know her own husband was going to be there. it was almost as if she was trying to make a statement of some sort.

so we're looking and she is just chatting away with this dude who looked like he came out of the chronicles of fucking ugly. but he was buying her ass those drinks though. about 30 minutes later they went outside. they both got into his car, a landrover fully stocked. she was smiling up a storm too. i don't know why, its not like it was her car. kind of reminds me of the high school days where a girl would be grinning up a storm when her boyfriend picked her up in his car as if she had dibs on it or something. bullshit , we know your ass was just riding shot gun! so i was like yo we not gonna follow them because she might see you and then all hell could break loose. but all they did was drive around the corner to fridays. i was like dayum big spender drinks and dinner in the same night. i know he thinks he's getting some. but he didn't. after the dinner she left got into her car and he got into his and they went their seperate ways. it doesn't make sense at first but when you think about it , it really does. you see she was looking to be spoiled. this was apparent. her husband didn't take her out like that so she went else where to get the attention. now unfortunately for the guy the one night date was exactly that. he was just a booty call without the booty. he was a fuckin maybey , a just in case, an open wallet. lets try this again in english shall we. she was a gold digger. she was just one of those women who went on a date for the perks but had no intentions of anything further, while my poor buddy was working long shifts to pay for a mortgage payment and car payments and other bills, she was just out cashing in.

this happends more than you think. can it be considered cheating. well yeah of course it could i mean she did go out with another man. but is it really her fault or is it his. well i think its both. you see neither of them should have ever gotten married to one another because it was obvious that at least one of them was about money and that my friends is all it takes. so what happened to our happy couple. hmm. you tell me.. was this story real or was it just a story. was it all in your imagination or was it in reality. thats a good question thats a very good question.

i wanna thank everyone for reading my blogs, check out my next entry entitled. "real men where pants that fit" you don't wanna miss this. and here we go!

gotta show mad love to :

god, thank you so much for blessing me and my family we are forever grateful

lisa, the wifey who stands by me no matter what yep thats what we do

elizabeth and joshua, our little princess and prince daddy is always working hard to make sure you guys have it all baby headed straight to the top yep

to my best friend thomas, yo we gotta hit philly soon i'm ready to shop till i drop there 1 love

to my familia johnson fam love you guys , i know i haven't been around much lately and i probably won't for a while but always thinking of you guys

to deron and familia, it was awesome seeing you and your family can't wait to catch you guys up in newyork, i'm there in december baby lets go!

to my brother vincent hey little bro sending you a really cool care package look out for that

to my brother justin yo man hold things down in the v.a. i'll catch up with you around december we gotta get you up to the york

to all my friends that i have forgotten to mention 1 love always

lets go!

what makes a woman a gold digger chapt 3

yes as beautiful as they are and as much as we love them , unfortunately lots of women are gold diggers. not all of them but most are. most women will spend money on themselves first and pay their bills 2nd if at all. women will lie about their finances to borrow money from men or their girlfriends to so called pay a bill and the next night you see them with a new pair of come fuck me heels on. yep we've all seen it. its like when you take a woman to a theater for a movie she stands there and looks straight ahead because she has no intentions of paying shit! is this right. well think about this for a second. sure you don't mind treating a woman out the first date but after that shouldn't she be kicking out something. i mean damn you gotta have some money somewhere in that purse. everything else is in there.

back when i was dating i would run from a woman that told me she was about money. i remember i had a thing for this girl that worked in d.c. i was working for fedex at the time and i would save her office for last just so that i could run into her and have 5 minutes of her day. and man i'm telling you she was gorgeous! she was awesome all the way up to the day she told me that she had a list of requirements and demands for the men that she dated. and then she had a nerve to pull it out of her purse, wait pause for a second .... i did mentioned that women have everything in their purses right?... ok the list was big it was long , i swear it had 25 things listed, and as soon as i saw number one , i left the office and never saw this girl again. it was crazy. you wouldn't believe that number one on her list was that the guy she dated had to get paid weekly because she got paid bi weekly and needed money every week. i was like hell no!

i'm not one to lable anyone so i won't but the truth is gold diggers exsist. in reality and in the minds of so many. and we're going to test this theory right now.

it was weird because i knew this guy for like 10 years. i never really would have thought that he was having marital problems. we went out one night had a few glasses of wine at a local pub and he was just pouring his heart out about how much money he and his wife were spending. well technically his wife. i knew this guy he was a saver for real, i mean he was the type of guy that wouldn't go to the store without a coupon, and he expected it to be doubled even if it was over a dollar. so we're at this pub and it was a pretty nice night , and out of the blue his wife walks in. his mouth dropped because he thought she was going to be at home at least thats what she said. she came through dressed to kill, with the whole "get it while its hot" dress on. and "catch me if you can "shoes on. she came up in the door and didn't look his way. she headed straight to the bar and sat down and ordered a beer. a few minutes later someone walked in and sat down right beside her and started talking. uh oh! could this be drama it damn sure was. right in front of us, and not acknowledging her husband in the process, this girl sat right down and started talking too.....

next chapter people....ha ha don't you guys just love when i write like this :)

WHAT MAKES A WOMAN A GOLD DIGGER chapt 2

women who are gold diggers are basically cultured and raised in this role. for instance, alot of moms will tell there daughters that when they get older to meet a nice guy who makes lots of money and can buy you that dream house and car and take good care of you. WHAT THE FUCK? now see that is where the train gets derailed right there. so once this little girl becomes a young woman she is already looking for guys who make a very good living and is willing to open up there wallets to her. she now dates guys that only fit that criteria, so she now becomes a gold digger. instead of teaching their daughter to grow up maybey go to college and gain an interest in a very proimising career so that she can get established on her own. they are teaching her to become dependent on a man. which is a hell no, because most men aren't dependable to begin with. but this is where it starts.

and they make careers out of this. they go through there 20's fucking every dude with a nice car, they go through there 30's doing the same thing and buy the time they hit 40 they are wandering why they are single. hell they know why, because you spent your entire life searching for something that simply isn't there. listen if i took a line up of ten men. and placed them in front of a group of women . 10 times out of 10 none of them would be wealthy. now maybey one or two of them may have good paying jobs, and maybey one of them were living comfortable with his salary. so the odds are slim. now don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with taking care of your significant other. i try everyday to give my wife the best, i work very hard for that. its a part of marriage that makes you want to do these things. but i'd be damn if i was gonna do it just for kicks and let her just be after my money. hell i'm not rich. i do ok, but i go bills man. she she's gotta love me for me. and yeah she does. i can't complain. but i know in my heart she would be with me through rain or shine and thats the way it should be people. rain or shine not rain or dimes. its funny because i dated the gold digger type, and it cost me a fortune, i remember this one girl ordered the most expensive thing on the menu. shrimp fucking scampi! i'll never forget that. then had a nerve to order two deserts and told me one was for her mom. i was like dayum! after the date she asked me when was the next time we were gonna go out. i was like never i can't afford you, hell you can't even afford you!

its funny i look at where i came from and i realized how hard i worked to get there and i just couldn't be the one to spend it all on a girl that feels as though as long as she is fucking me with the come get me heels on, i'm suppose to go broke. hell no! i wasn't going out like that. truth is most men do. they will spend their fucking rent money on a girl that has grey eyes , knowing damn well they wearing contacts and thats where i blame the men. yeah its part their fault because men lie so damn much their noses grow .

the problem is men lie. men will look you in the face and lie. i know this guy right now who says he makes 165,000 a year. knowing damn well he doesn't. no one is making that type of money in this economny the jobs just don't pay those type of salaries anymore. which brings me to this point. everything has seemed to flow backwards. nurses today are making less than what they did 10 years ago. doctors are making less. jobs in general are starting individuals off with less money than they did for the same position 10 years ago. so why fall for that. the truth is your falling for the wallet and what someone can do for you, not the individual.

its funny how i can look at the people i know at 30 plus. the term went from thats my boyfriend to thats my friend. what the hell is that. you just as well should say thats who i'm fucking. because thats what it is.

and love the fact that women will claim that they won't date a guy who works at target or walmart. hello look at your shirt , you work at target or walmart! so once again the goldigger. its like that seinfeld episode, "your breaking up with a women because she's bald. hello your bald!"

ok stay tune as i put a twist on this gold digging scenario. over the next few chapters. this is gonna get good . lets go!

WHAT MAKES A WOMAN A GOLD DIGGER chapt 1

when you think of the term gold digger you automatically assume that it is a woman who is simply with someone because of their money or financial position. are there gold diggers, absolutely there are, hell i have dated a few. but the question is are most women gold diggers. well i think you have to start at the root of what a gold digger is.

you see there are plenty of women who will cheat on their spouse or significant other , or even run away from there relationships because they feel that another man can make them happy. the problem is when you base that theory on money. and its funny because alot of men don't really have money in the first place, its all in the appearance. and here is what i mean by that. follw me because we're going deep into this discussion.

a woman that is engaged to an average guy decides to have an affair on her man because of the problems that they were having. instead of being a real woman and trying to work it out or at least discuss the problem and try to find a reasonable solution where no one gets hurt, she decides to have an affair and end her engagement. the guy she has an affair with appears to be stable. dresses nice has a nice car, takes her out to dinner, and spoils her with flowers on the regular. they eventually get together and she hopes to find happiness. instead she finds her size 8 feet with her pedicure and painted toes right dead in her mouth. not just one foot but two. you see this guy appeared to be stable. but when you are living at home or with a roomate , you can be stable as hell. but when you have to take on real bills and real responsibility , you can become more unstable than that crazy bitch from misery. on the outside this guy seemed to have it all, but behind closed doors he was as broke as she was. now who saw that one comming.

its amazing how this happends though. a woman will tell you , he's not the man i thought he was. but in fact he was the same man that you met the first night. he was doing what he always did, you however were stupid because you based everything on what appeared to be the truth. you see men will lie like hell to get some pussy. they'll try to win an oscar for it. but the truth does come out. it always has and it always will. i remember being in the barbershop and this guy told me that if his bills were late, then they just were late, he had to look good. and i was like how is your dumbass gonna look good standing in the dark because you didn't pay your electric bill. and most men are this way. they'd rather look good first pay bills second. and women are like this as well. and because they are they go for men that appear to fit their standard. funny thing is you don't have a standard when you stoop to that level. your basing your whole life on what someone can do for you. and then you find out after having their children and giving them so much pussy that they can keep some in a doggy bag, that the whole thing was a waste of time. you tried for shrimp scampi and your dumbass got a mcdonalds fish sandwitch. and instead of being labled a gold digger, looks like you were just digging for gold and came up empty.

funny thing is gold diggers know it, they know they're stupid they can see it written right across their forehead. but what makes a woman this way. well it starts from birth and i'll go there next chapter.

30 PLUS

NOW AT AGE 36 I FEEL LIKE I LIVED LONG ENOUGH TO BE ABLE TO SAY THAT I CAN DO ANYTHING. I THINK ONCE YOU'VE HAD IT HARD YOU CAN'T GO ANYWHERE BUT UP. AND THATS WHAT I INTEND ON CONTINUING. I THINK EVERYONE SHOULD. NO MATTER HOW TOUGH THE ROAD IS TO GET THERE , PUT IT IN YOUR MIND AND GET THERE. DREAMS DO COME TRUE, JUST NOT WHEN YOU WANT THEM TO. BUT THAT MAKES THE CHALLANGES OF LIFE ALL WORTH WHILE. I LOOK FORWARD TO CONTINUING TO BE A GOOD HUSBAND AND FATHER AND TEACHING MY KIDS THAT ITS OK TO BE DISCOURAGED ITS OK TO STRUGGLE, BUT IT IS NEVER OK TO GIVE UP.

OK WANT TO THANK EVERYONE FOR READING THIS BLOG STAY TUNE FOR MY NEXT BLOG ENTITLED. WHAT MAKES A WOMAN A GOLD DIGGER

30 plus volume 4

now i was 34 and to my surprise we found out that lisa and i were expecting our second child. i was scared at first because i had just finally been able to take a breath finacially. but i remembered that as long as you have faith in god, he will provide. 9 months later i found myself at gbmc for a second time and joshua matthew barnes was born. this was crazy, where elizabeth came out with a head full of hair and looked chinese, joshua came out with no hair with blue eyes. so i immediately looked at lisa and said hey is there something you want to tell me. but of course she gave me the clair huxtable stare and was like don't even go there. i knew that though. lisa may be a pain in the ass but she is as faithful as they come. come to find out her grandfather had blue eyes and so i guess joshua had inherited them from him. now they are green. we laugh about it to this day. now we had to nickname him so we called him butt , because he slept with his butt up in the air. pretty strange huh. but thats the barnes family.

i gotta say i felt good though in my mid 30's. i had my boy and my girl, all i needed was a dog to complete the set. it felt like all the nay sayers fuled me to do the right thing. it felt like i could teach my kids that anything is possible. i always wanted to be married with kids and have a house and vacations and all of that and i was able to achieve that. but i know inside i'm not done, i can't be. i have to continue to set new goals , i have to continue to try i have to continue to believe. and i want happiniess for everyone for my family for my friends, i just want everyone to be happy because i know what its like to be miserable and feel like the whole world is comming down on you. my life had changed i had grown up and believe me i needed to. things had gotten so much better for me, and to me thats the american dream. its not about materialistics. its about knowing that you can and proving to yourself that you can.

next up age 36 lets go!

30 plus volume 3

being 33, life felt like it had turned a corner for me finally. financially i had arrived. and i love that expression because when you come from what i've come from and you finally are able to stand strong among the rest, well it makes you feel good about yourself, it makes you feel proud. it makes you feel like all the hard work, all of the long nights of wondering how you were gonna pay your bills were finally comming to an end. i remember dating girls that were only about money or hanging with dudes that would brag about the money that had at the time but now this was real life this was where everything counted and i was standing tall, as far as the rest of them all i can say is dayum what a shame. i'm not one to brag so i will never do that. i will always be humble and grateful knowing that me and lisa and our children are very blessed to be where we are. but we fought for this. it damn sure wasn't handed to us. we went through so much and now we were where we wanted to be. we were able to give ourselves and elizabeth the family life we always wanted.

you see being a minority means one thing survival. you have to know how to do that because your not gonna be handed a damn thing unless its bullshit and that you can find for free. i learned a long time ago that rules of society are set up for minorities to fail and thats why most do. they become content with their status and they don't keep reaching and trying. but you have to, you can never be content because while others have a free ride you have nothing. this certainly isn't a racial blogg this is reality. i've seen and lived through this. and you have to know the rules of the game before you play it. and you also have to play by these rules until you are able to stand on your own and make your own rules. and it feels good to do that. its like going to the bank and depositing 500 bucks the teller says to you thanks have a nice day. now try depositing 5,000 dollars and they don't know how to act, bank managers are racing from their lunch break to help you with anything you may need. in other words they are straight kissing your ass. to me, you should have treated me that way no matter how much i was depositing but this is where we are and how we live.

life was good , i couldn't complain, i was doing everything i needed to do to support my family and my marriage had survived some pretty rough obstacles. i remember my uncle sitting me down asking me at the time would i have anymore kids. i was like i'm not sure i'm just now getting things together. and he said" when your marriage is on track, everything clicks mentally and physically, and because of that your gonna have kids. a good marriage is baby making music, its just gonna happen." and guess what happen

next chapter age 34 a dad again!

30 plus volume 2

life was hard in my early 30's but it was fulfilling i was a dad for the first time and married and although the financial woes were horrible. i was determined to pull ahead of every obstacle that stood before me. all but one. one that i never expected to be a problem and that was the inlaws. you see some people never realize how jealousy can affect someone. it can turn you against your bestfriend, if you let it. but yet there it stood with people who didn't know me from the jump. here i was an african american man married to a filipino woman and that in itself was unacceptable to some. no i wasn't a drug dealer and no i wasn't a womanizer or even an abusive person. but still hate exsisted. now what was i to do. well the choice for me was easy. and that was to keep on doing what i always did. stay focused and not let the people around me bring their bullshit to my life. now for me this was easy because i have always been like that. you see getting married means that you chose your spouse over everyone else. they become your bestfriend. together you can go far, but seperate your not going anywhere. and thats what this problem was all about. although me and lisa loved eachother very much we were in fact from different worlds. we were very different. and it showed during this course of problems.

sometimes you never want to think that the people closest to you are out to hurt you, but the truth is they are more likely to do it than anyone else, mainly because they feel that because they are family, they get a free pass. well not with me you don't. i stood my ground on this and i never swayed from it. the moment you stop putting me first and allow others to disrespect our marriage the more likely and definitely we won't make it. and this problem stood in the way for a while man. it was just something that wasn't going away. but like all problems, you have to deal with them and get rid of them. and thats exactly what we did.

now of course being the person that i am, i believe very strongly in family, i grew up with a loving family but chaos was again at my front door so i did what i do best. fcous on the positive and turn the page.

next chapter the barnes family gains success, yes there is a rainbow at the end of the sky finally age 33

30 PLUS volume one

i woke up this morning at around 5am and looked into the bathroom mirror. i couldn't believe it. i am 36. now this may just sound like an age to most people but to me it was a very big deal. i look back at where i came from and how i grew up and the odds that were aginst me and found myself at 36. i felt proud. its still hard to believe sometimes. the kid that was born to a single african -american mother and a father who didn't give the square root of shit whether i lived or died. i guess i can say that i felt that i had the odds stacked against me from the beginning. i can remember my grandmother telling me as kid that i would go on to do alot of good things in the world and here i am 36 married with two kids. wow man!

its funny i can look back at 29 and i see myself walking out of gbmc hospital with my wife lisa ann barnes and our first born child elizabeth ann barnes. it was crazy because i was no longer that guy that was up in newyork and philly partying all the time. i was a married man with a child. and this i never saw comming. it was really cool at first because i was married. i had someone to come home to and i never had that before. we would actually go out on dates as if we were a two teenagers, playing pool, movies every weekend and even playing air hockey. but now at approaching 30 we were about to become parents. and i must admit i was nervous. i learned how to change my first diaper and i actually was able to clean up poop without getting sick. i had my first scare when elizabeth fell and i learned to make bottles and everything. everything was awesome it was great. i was married with my first child in my career and nothing could stop me. but then it hit me. BILLS! I had so many bills even my bills had bills. i never would have guessed that daycare cost 220 a week and formula was costing me about 80 bucks a week not to mention diapers and clothes and everything else baby elizabeth needed. i was barely able to afford anything for myself. but it was worth it. i was a husband at a dad and now 30 and i felt like my life was comming full circle. then things beagn to change and the real challanges began.

a good friend of mine who was sort of a father figure to me told me that its easy to get married but harder to stay married and boy he wasn't lying. the honey moon phase was over. our life now revolved around bills daycare expenses groceries and clothes for elizabeth. at one point we were working just to pay for daycare. you see i didn't have that supporting cast that most people have. you know, mom and dad watch the baby so i can go out and have a life. no way! me and lisa had this child and we were determined to raise her. it seemed like the bills would never end because everytime i blinked there was something else due. i wanted to complain but what was i going to say, i'm not doing it? no way was i gonna be like my father who i never even knew. that in itself drove me to push harder to be a better husband and father. but don't get me wrong it was a round trip ticket to hell and back through the process. i can remember looking at my paycheck saying yeah i make lots of money. then the bills hit and i was like yeah that shit should have read pay to the order of the fucking bills. i gotta laugh because everytime i got mad about the situation i would look at my daughter who slept with one foot up in the air and thats why we named her feet and we still do to this day. its funny because when i call her feet most people don't get it. but she really is feet lol. i guess you had to be there to see it.

anyways things started to improve we both started to make more money at our jobs and our marriage had survived 2 years things were looking up , then the bombshell hit.

next chapter age 32 lets go!

SEX GETS BETTER WITH AGE chapt 5

we all can agree on one thing when the sex is good, its fuckin slamming , its the sex that you just don't want to get out of bed from. but the good thing is you can do it all over again. sex can be fun, it can be sensual, it can be fuckin awesome and adventurous. but always remember to respect one another and love one another and keep that conversation wide open for unlimited possibilities. you'd be surprise on how good your sex life can become.


ok peeps thanks for reading my latest blog, catch my next blog, "30 plus" as i tell my own story and views and several chapters as i view life at 36. this is gonna be very personal you don't wanna miss it. lets go!

SEX GETS BETTER WITH AGE chapt 4

what makes sex good to a man. well speaking as a man and from a man's point of view. most men like the idea of being pleased. now that doesn't mean we are afraid to put the work in. hell i'll put in overtime myself if needed. but we love to be pleased. yes we too love massages and footrubs, and yes blow jobs. for those who didn't hear me let me say this a little louder. YES MEN LIKE BLOW JOBS! we need the them, its a must. its almost like sex had two parts one is positional and the other is oral. now some women do not like to give them and i can respect that. but its almost a requirement for the job if i may. it goes right on the resume under hobbies. you know ride bikes, have sex, give blow jobs. now is it wrong for a guy to always expect a blow job, well no just as it isn't wrong for a woman to expect oral sex. yes men we need to go down and take a dive as well. oral sex is like the appetizer before the main course its gets you started, doesn't fill you up but gives you just enough to get your sex buds up and running. now don't get me wrong i get it, i undertstand that some men stink! i've heard women say this about guys but ladies drop a hint to these stinky boyfriends of yours, just say hey i want to give you a blow job but you really stink! i suggest you go and take a shower and oh yeah use soap this time around. sure it could hurt his feelings but the truth hurts sometimes.

now men, its called taking care of yourself down there, you gotta wash that area as you would your face. very carefully. you have to use lotion and baby powder to make sure that even when you sweat your balls don't. i mean come on, no woman wants to suck on some sweaty ass balls. if you think your not getting a blow job now keep doing that shit and you'll never get one. ok next make sure your underwear is clean. windows may have streaks but your damn boxers certainly should not. and last but not least. work it out with your partner when you climax, not everyone wants to go that extra mile. some women can get very adventurous but don't assume anything be respectful.

ok now ladies, men well some men love oral sex i know i do. i think its the next best thing to tasting strawberries well without the strawberries. i love oral sex i think i rank it right up there with regular sex. but there are some issues that can prevent your man from going down on you. ok first of all ladies. pleae wash. forget the douche for a second i mean really wash. even if that means you have to do a hand stand in the shower with your legs open. hey what ever works for you. but you gotta get in there and you gotta get in there good. ok next you gotta shave, i mean come on now, no body is that interested in visiting the jungle. and of course use that edible body oil that is awesome and gets the senses aroused! yeah you gotta try that. and of course dress for the occassion. and here we go.

i remember dating this girl where she wore alot of sweats , i mean even when we went out she looked like she was ready to go jogging. so when we had sex there was like no imagination there. no guy wants a girl to have sex in some sweats that says "i'm awesome" on the ass. where something nice and elegant but freaky. something that reveals not too much but just enough so that your man will be ready to rip your clothes off. and last but not least be respectful as well when your ready to climax talk to your partner not everyone is thirsty right then.

ok lets close this out next chapter.

SEX GETS BETTER WITH AGE chapt 3

now before we move on, i gotta say this man because its the right thing to do. as good as sex feels, please if you are having sex with an unknown partner or your not in a relationship or committed or even if your not sure you want kids, please use a condom. yes i know i sound like a broken record. but you gotta pay attention to this. when having sex many men start out with the condom on. now sometimes these condoms are hella cheap. so damn cheap that they probably got them at barneys corner store where they carry milk, eggs, candy and oh yeah condoms. now these condoms are known to break. now ladies if your not sure when a condom breaks. just look at his face. he is into it , but not really, you are pretty much making all the noises at that point but once that condom tears and he feels just a little sensation, oh he starts purring like a cat, before you know it, he is making more noise than you, don't be mistaken your good but your not that damn good, not with a condom on. he felt you without the condom and then it was on from there. also beware of the pull out pull off method. this is when a guy pulls out pulls the condom off and says i just can't take this anymore "i'm going in!!!!" and so he does. the sex was better wasn't it, but was it worth it. i can tell you from experience that condoms suck! you can't feel a damn thing with them on. and i have tried them all. but it was a must. i was determined to wear it. now that i'm married of course i just depend on the donte method! ha ha i'll never tell.

ok so please wrap it up, seal it up, and put it away because as good as the sex may be, it certainly can have lots of bad consequences along with it, such as unwanted pregancies, which means dead beat baby fathers and mothers. aids which means odds are you won't live long enough to get child support from these dead beat baby mothers and fathers. but once you find that special someone, and have that trust within one another the possibilities are limitless.

ok next chapter people as we look into what makes the sex good for a man, you won't wanna miss this one

SEX GETS BETTER WITH AGE chapt 2

we all love sex , we can at least admit that. sex can be good it can be beautiful and when the two of you are in the moment it can be the most thrilling ride of your life. but why does this thrilling ride become better with age. well think about this as a teen you had sex to get it done and get it over with before you got caught. that was everyones nightmare, getting caught. and we've all been there. it was like being in that movie where they sat you in that chair, shined that bright white light on you and then proceeded to ask you questions like. DONTE WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING? wait i went to far on that one. but you all get my drift. sex back then was good but it just wasn't great, not until you learned the craft and instead of trying to hurry up you were trying to slow down and of course learn what the hell you were doing along the way. i remember this guy telling me that he caught a cramp having sex and had to stop on account of the pain. i was like what a rookie, dude should have done some stretches first. once your in, your in. the worse thing in the world is to cut a sexual experience short. you want to explore every inch of your partners body. you want to taste everything. you want to be able to give oral sex without losing your breath and going into a coma. you want to take your time and find the spot that makes your partner say your name in russian, french, and italian, plus resite the national anthem backwards. you want to explore sexual positions that you never tried before, not just the normal, i'm on top , she's on top, doggy style i'm done. you gotta be creative. thats what makes sex beautiful and that my friends comes with experience and age. as you get older, you learn more about sex. what turns you on. you learn about passion and you also learn that outside of sex is love. that love for your significant other is what helps make the sex great. i mean come on anyone can have an orgasim in 5 minutes. although i wouldn't reccomend it. I think its crazy to go in not knowing what your doing. a good friend once told me that when everything is clicking on all cylinders, the sex will be the best you ever had. but when you have problems that are unresolved the sex is terrible. question is which side of the fence do you want to be on.

SEX GETS BETTER WITH AGE OR DOES IT chapt 1

as teen ager sex excites you, its something new and fresh and all the other kids were doing it. thats what drew you to it. you felt left out if you didn't participate and of course you dreaded being called that aweful word. "THE VIRGIN". i remember that one. it seemed like if you were one back in the days it was like you were some type of disease or something. little did i know that mostly everyone was back then. sure you had a few that weren't but for the most part the only thing they were hittin were their own bed sheets. i can laugh about it now. but back then it was scary wasn't it. it was exciting to get your first sexual encounter. you really didn't know what the hell you were doing but the more times you did the better you were at it. now way lets be honest. some of you were bad then and your really bad now. but for the most part, sex was good , it was fun. but as we got older sex became more serious. you became more concerned about your sexual partners as well as who they had been with. you certainly didn't want to have any kids, so the condom was always a must, but really was it. most of you did the whole pull out method didn't you. don't deny it.

we went from teenagers that were hot and frisky to young adults that had finally got our right to have a drink legally, which led to more sex. and not always good sex either, but sex never the less. and this is where you found the difference between good sex and bad sex. when the sex was good, you walked away with a smile on your face. but when it was bad, you looked worse than that donkey from winnie the poo. but still sex excited you didn't it.

all of this lead you up to be a full fledged adult with a sexual history some longer than others , which brings me to my most current recent thoughts. does sex get better with age. well in my opinion it does and i'm going there people so if your not ready for this content, i suggest you cuddle up with a nice history book on how to make egg plant.

ok here we go

first of all lets all be honest, good sex depends on the partner that your with. not all sex is the same. everyone has had that bad sexual partner that just wasn't good in bed and you wanted to tell them but you didn't want to hurt their feelings so you just never called them again. its sad too, because you go through everything in the worlfd to finally get some and when you do, its freakin horrible. she didn't smell good, he was to small, he couldn't last five minutes, she tightened up like a hoover vacum cleaner, he wouldn't go down on you, you wouldn't go down on him, which by the way should be part of the freakin application process but we will get into that later. i myself believe it or not have had bad sex. no honestly it wasn't on my end. but the girl was just horrible. i mean she was like a dusty book you just couldn't open. i couldn't believe it because i would have thought that a girl that looked that beautiful, would be good in bed. boy was i wrong. first of all she smelled good up top but not down the bottom talk about mismatch. she certainly didn't know her way around the bedroom and hell she didn't know her way around the bathroom. and it was like going to school. ok step one first get undressed. unfuckinbelievable. and i know we've all been there. and then of course you had the sexual encounter where the girl or guy who talked a good game but when it came down to it they were as lost as the network series. they really didn't know what they were doing. and this completely sucks in my opinion but at the same time this was the growing process of learning about sex. you learned through the years what turned you on and what didn't. this was important for all of our sexual development and i'll explain why next chapter as we look into how we evolved with sex. what made it better. and of course how the relationship makes it all worth it.

THE FOUR WAY TRIANGLE chapt 7

so there they were child hood friends staring adversity in the face. in a serious situation in which you thought that maybey the four of them could have figured a way out. greed took over and now you had one go astray. why was this , what made kim do such terrible things to her friends that she had known just as long as her own family.

now they were really worried. not only did kim run with all the money but she also placed the gun with them so that they would appear guilty. they had no clue on where to start but they knew that the resources they needed, they couldn't find in the netherlands. they had to go back home. and they were afraid of this because what if someone had seen them, what if someone had told. by now it had been 24 hours sense the murder, it was only a matter of time before someone found jasmine in the stairwell. they all agreed that the best thing to do at this point was to return to the united states, and tell the police what happened. they knew what the risks were but at this point they knew that kim was behind everything so they decided to take their chances.

they took the first flight out and landed at philidelphia international aiprort around 6pm. they went directly to the police station near the downtown area. they all held hands as they entered the police station, and they sat down with a detective who and began to tell what happened. as they told the series of events, the detective interrupted them and said that there had been no report of anytype of crime in that area over the past 48 hours. "but this doesn't make sense" said david we were there we saw it all happen. the detective said ok, well lets go back to the stairwell and see what we find. as they arrived at the stairwell, they found that it was clean. there was no blood, no body, and no jasmine. they couldn't undertstand, was this a bad dream! the police officer then escorted them out of the building and asked them were they on drugs. they all yelled no! we saw this happen. she was dead right there in the stair way. well, there is no evidence of that now the officer said . i would have found traces of blood or something if the body had been moved. they all looked confused. they didn't even know where to start to look for kim. they were out of options. later that evening they decided it would be best if they went their seperate ways for a while. and so they did. without saying a word to one another as they left.

about 6 months later they each recieved a letter, it had no return adress, but it read, "money changes people" and it was signed by kim herself and jasmine.

hope you all enjoyed this blog, catch my next one entitled. "sex gets better with age or does it? comming up soon

yep:
gotta show love to my 4 corner circle myself, elizabeth, joshua and lisa. you guys keep me strong and grounded and that i am always thankful for

much love to my boy thomas, thats wasup.... we gotta kick it this week man because i'm gonna be hella busy in the next few lets make it happen

deron and fam, so glad you guys are doing ok, much love from york pa to conneticut, i'll holla at you when i'm up in the big apple yep!

to justin and cammy , love you bro, it was good seeing you , always got you no matter what thats what real barnes' do

to the johnson familia, love you guys can't wait to see you all next month, its gonna be great

to kwame and family, sorry i missed the barbeque life has been hella busy but i wouldn't have it any other way,

to jason and fam, i'm gonna be there no worries the 23rd i'm there

to my adoptees, you know who you are tequoya and darlene you guys are punks but you guys are awesome

to all my blog readers, thankyou for inspiring me to write and be creative

to all the zodaic cancers , this is our month baby lets make it count

THE FOUR WAY TRIANGLE chapt 6

wendy david and joseph stared frantically at the airplane doorway as the crew and the flight attendants all left the plane. kim was no where to be found. the three wondered what was going on. they automatically felt that kim had ditched them, maybey even sold them out. but it was much worse than that. the three of them booked a hotel room at a local hotel right near the airport. they sat down trying to figure out what the hell had happened. they tried calling kim on her cell phone but the number had been disconnected. david stood up and started pacing the room back and forth. then in an instant he froze looked at wendy and said open the back pack. as wendy opened the back pack their mouths dropped. the money was gone, all of it, over 2 milllion dollars gone. but what was left in it was much much worse. it was a gun with blood on it. it was the murder weapon that was used to kill jasmine.

it became apparent that this was a set up from the beginning. the tall guy was just a cover up and a friend of kims whom she had planned this with months ago. in the stair way she pulled out a gun when the lights went off and killed jasmine so that the other three would have to take the fall before they could actually split the money. but where did the money come from well, the money had come from inside the volt of the bank where they all went to that night to use the atm machine. you see the tall man was nothing more than a janitor who worked there. he stole the money and had got a cut out of it before hand and once he was gone his job was never to be seen again. but why jasmine why was she murdered. joseph never knew about the secret crush that kim had on him and it broke her heart to find that he was deeply in love with another woman. she became obsessive with him which led to rage and poor jasmine was in the wrong place at the wrong time. now the problem had took a turn for the worse. they needed to find kim and fast, and they still had to worry about the police tracking them for the murder of jasmine. all of this ran through their minds as they stood there motionless. the hunt for kim was on and they were running out of time , the more time went by the further kim could go and not be found.

next chapter people

THE FOUR WAY TRIANGLE chapt 5

sometimes when you think all of the answers are right there in front of you, they are not. sometimes what appears to be the obvious, ends up being the furthest from the truth and reality. stay with me as the adventure gets even deeper and rage and envy take over what bonded four life long friends together in the first place. trust.

they didn't know what to do, they all stood there speechless. wondering how they got themselves into this mess in the first place. but this they knew for sure. they had alot of money that didn't belong to them and there was a dead body in the stairwell. somebody was gonna have to explain all of this to the police. but none of them wanted to. david pulled everyone together and said "listen we have to get out of here, we have to get out of here now, and i don't think we can ever come back, because if we do they're going to throw us all in jail for theft and murder. but who murdered this girl jasmine none of them had a gun. they all just came together one night to go out and have dinner, they weren't criminals. wendy and kim, nodded and agreed. joseph who was speechless and said nothing as tears flowed downed his face. "ok first we need to get our passports, there is enough money here for us to leave the country and never come back and start a new life. no one can trace this murder back to any of us if we are careful", said david. they all agreed. so they made a plan to each go home grab only what they could carry , grab their passports and book a flight to amsterdamn . this way they could get away from everything and no one would be able to question them. it seemed like a well thought out plan. but was it really. what were they going to tell their parents and friends. what about there jobs and how were they going to just up and leave without any notice. but this was something they had to do. although none of them were guilty of anything somebody was going to take the fall for this and they were going to fall hard.

they decided to meet at the starbucks at philidelphia international airport. as they met they agreed to put the money in one carry on bag so that the less luggage they carried the less obvious it would be for someone to think that they were hiding something. they decided to buy their plane tickets at the counter and pay cash this way no one could trace any type of credit card transactions. everything seemed set. wendy had the carry on bag as she was the first to board the plane joseph and david followed as kim was dragging behind. they each had different seating assignment so that they wouldn't all be seen talking about anything together. as the plane took off, all you heard was silence, no one said a word. 6 hours later the flight landed in amsterdam. wendy, david, and joseph waited for kim to exit the plane , 10 minutes went by. as all the passengers exited the plane there was no sign of kim.

THE FOUR WAY TRIANGLE chapt 4

the lights had slowly come back on and although it was still dim. the four friends were covered in blood and right there in a pool of blood laid an individual faced down. all four friends looked at one another with fear in their eyes. they were all ok, and assumed that the person who was shot was the guy who had dropped the bag in the first place. "its him"! joesph said i know it. he knew he dropped the money and he was comming back for it, he must have follwed us here. wendy tried to calm everyone down. we can't be sure who it is unless we turn the body over and look at the face. everyone backed away and yelled no way i'm doing that, no not me. everyone was scared no one wanted to even come close to this person after everything that had just happened. wendy took a few steps forward. kneeled down and began to turn the body over.

as they all began to look at the face, they realized that this wasn't the man that had dropped the bag, as a matter of fact this wasn't a man at all. it was a woman. a woman that none of them knew or recognized. they all looked confused. everyone except joseph. who stood frozen as ice. he backed away and started crying. the other three looked at him to try to calm him down. suddenly he yelled JASMINE! JASMINE wake up! but jasmine couldn't wake up. jasmine wasn't asleep. jasmine was shot and killed right there in that hallway. the others looked at him and asked how he knew this woman. then it came to light. jasmine was joesph's new girlfriend but because the four friends hadn't seen eachother in months , they never knew anything about her. "i don't understand" cried joseph."what was she doing here". and everyone began to cry but within seconds they stopped. right there lying next to her was a gun. could jasmine have been the one running up the stairway to hurt them. it couldn't be. this was joseph's girl friend. they loved one another and she would never hurt him. but this was strange. standing in this stairway were four life long friends, a dead girlfriend and no one seemed to know who shot her. there was no body else to be found and the gun wasn't pointed towards her body so it wasn't suicide. someone had shot her. but who. they all looked around still thinking that the tall man had come back for them and his money. but he was no where to be found. if the stranger that dropped the back pack didn't kill jasmine then who did?

next chapter ha ha your gonna love this twist

THE FOUR WAY TRIANGLE chapt 3

they all looked at eachother and started to argue. here they were with over 2 million dollars at there disposal and they couldn't agree on what to do. it seemed to be very simple right. turn the money over to the police and just walk away. the money wasn't theirs to begin with. they all knew the difference between right and wrong. but had they gone too far in taking it.

joseph spoke up,"listen guys, i know we should take this money to the police, but no one was there when the guy dropped the bag, no one even saw it we could take this money split it up walk away with over 700,000 a piece and no one would ever know". they all thought about it for a second. on the surface the idea sounded great. but was it really. they all sat around discussing their options but the more they discussed it the less they talked about turning the money over to the police. finally after a few hours of talking they all decided that it would be best to keep it and not say a word. they felt that this was a chance of a life time.

so they split the money up four ways each pocketing over 700,000. they didn't want to walk the streets with it so they decided to keep the money at davids apartment until they could decide their next move. they decided then to celebrate. they headed back out the door to go to chase 27. as they entered the stairway of davids apartment building the lights in the stairway started to flicker. then in an instant the lights went out, it was completely dark in the stairway. as they guided themselves along the rail down the steps they heard footsteps comming up the stairs towards them.. it was pitch black they couldn't see anything. the footsteps became louder as if the person was running towards them and all of a sudden , someone started to grab at them. a struggle began and within minutes all you heard was a louds bang. it was a gun shot. they all froze. one of them had just been shot. it was pitch black. they started screaming help help!

a few seconds later the back up generator lights came on, there was blood everywhere, kim looked to the ground and started screaming he" shot oh my god he's dead you killed him! as the lights came back on right there in the stair way , not moving , not breathing laying in a pool of blood was ......

now if i told you who got killed you wouldn't read the next chapter ha ha, chapter 4 comming soon people don't you just love when i write like that

THE FOUR WAY TRIANGLE chapt 2

as all four friends turned the corner what happened next would change the course of their lives forever.the bank sat only a few blocks away from the corner. because it sat inside of an office building foyer they all decided to go inside to keep eachother company. as they approached the steps a tall man around 6'6" ran passed them almost knocking kim to the ground as the two of them collided, he dropped a black backpack. but he didn't look back he just kept running full speed. as the other three helped kim to her feet they noticed the bag on the ground. they all yelled " hey you mister you dropped your bag". but he never looked back and just kept running as all of them looked at eachother. but none of them wanted to say what they all were thinking. then all of a sudden wendy, who had always been known as the more out going individual of the group wispered lets take it to davids apartment and look to see what is inside of it. they all began to argue with one another. it would be easier to just take it to the police they argued back and forth but curiosity killed the cat and they decided to take a look inside. so they took the bag and walked quietly back to davids apartment which was only a few blocks away. they were silent the whole time neither of them spoke a word. once they arrived up to davids place kim snatched the bag and immediately opened it to see what was inside. as they all looked in curiosity, what they saw blew their minds. as kim turned the bag upside down , out came what appeared to be hundreds of thousands of dollars. wow they all screamed. they didn't know what to do. their jaws dropped because none of them had actually seen that kind of money before. and this was right in their possession just theirs for the taking. they all immmediately started counting the money and to their surprise it wasn't a few hundred thousand dollars it was over 2 million dollars. they couldn't believe it. they all stepped away from the money and started to panic, "what should we do wendy yelled "

and that my friends is the question that started it all. next chapter people

"THE FOUR WAY TRIANGLE" chapt 1

what is a friend, really? someone you can depend on, someone who always has your back someone who will never let you down and will support you through anything. and most of all a friend is someone you can trust. someone who you tell your deepest thoughts and secrets too, someone that you feel connected to totally. but friendships are tested aren't they. some pass and some fail. but they are indeed tested. what happends when the person you thougt you knew, the person that you though you could trust, the person who you thought you could depend on most was no longer that person. you found that you couldn't trust them and worst of all they knew everything about you and more. this is a story about 4 child hood friends that came up together and went on what appeared to be a simple night out , but something happened that would change their friendships forever and their lives as well. stay tune as i take you on this well thought out plan that fell apart in which everyone points the finger and even somebody dies. your gonna love this one. lets go!

its was about 9pm, everyone was dressed to kill for a nice night out on the town in downtown philidelphia. it had been a long time since joseph,david, wendy and kim hung out. they normally tried to make it a once a month deal. but due to all of them being in their early 20s and leading their own seperate lives, there seem to never be enough time for them to meet up. but this night was in the works for a while now. they were all headed downtown to meet for dinner and then to have drinks at a local pub called CHASE 27. EVERYONE was excited because it had been at least 6 months since they had seen one another. kim and wendy rode together to show off her new porche while david who lived in the downtown area decided to walk , and joseph who lived up in jersey was headed there on the turnpike while talking to his girlfriend via mobile the whole time. this was a night that they all had needed out. they all decided to meet a few blocks away near a child hood resturaunt that they use to go to as kids and teenagers. david was the first to arrive being as though he only lived a few blocks away, and kim, wendy, and joseph arrived a few moments after. they all ran up to eachother and hugged eachother with open arms as they couldn't believe that they hadn't seen eachother in so long. as they headed for the resturaunt joseph wanted to run to the atm machine to get some cash for the night. so they all decided to head to the atm around the corner. as they turned the corner to approach the bank what happend next would change the course of their lives forever.

interested yet,it gets better next chapter people

SOUP FOR 4 " ADD A TABLE SPOON OF FORGIVENESS AND FINALLY THROW ON THE STOVE AND LET SIMMER"

OK YOUR ALL SET YOU PRETTY MUCH HAVE IT ALL READY TO COOK. BUT YOU WANT TO TO ADD ABOUT A TABLE SPOON OF FORGIVNESS. NOW LISTEN PEOPLE. NO ONE IN THIS WORLD IS PERFECT. YOU DON'T HAVE THE PERFECT MARRIAGE OR HUSBAND OR WIFE, OR THAT GREAT PERSON WHO NEVER DOES ANYTHING WRONG. WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES MAINLY BECAUSE WE NEVER STOP LEARNING FROM ONE ANOTHER. AND WHEN YOU MAKE THESE MISTAKES OWN UP TO THEM, WORK TOGETHER SO THAT YOU CAN BOTH OVER COME THESE MISTAKES. LEARN TO NOT ONLY FORGIVE ONE ANOTHER BUT BE ABLE TO DISCUSS IT AND MOVE PASSED IT. YOU HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD AT ALL TIMES. AS EACH DAY CHANGES SO DO YOU. AND LAST OF ALL THROW ON THE STOVE AND LET SIMMER. THIS RECIPE IS GOOD AND HEALTHY AND YOU DON'T WANT TO OVER COOK IT, LET IT SIMMER. FEEL FREE TO ADD OTHER INGREDIENTS AS YOU TASTE TEST IT AND REMEMBER THERE IS NEVER ENOUGH INGREDIENTS THAT YOU CAN ADD TO HAVE A HEALTHY MARRIAGE, THE MORE THE BETTER.

OK WANT TO THANK EVERYONE FOR CHECKING OUT MY SOUP FOR 4. STAY TUNE FOR MY NEXT BLOG "THE 4 WAY TRIANGLE" AS I TAKE YOU ON A JOURNEY OF FOUR FRIENDS THAT TRY TO SURVIVE A SCANDLE OF MONEY AND MURDER, QUESTION IS WHO DID IT? HMM. THATS A GOOD QUESTION THATS A VERY GOOD QUESTION

SOUP FOR 4 "ADD 1 CUP OF SPICY SEX"

OK BLEND IN 1 CUP OF SPICY SEX NEXT. YOU GOTTA ADD THIS BECAUSE WITH EVERY GOOD RELATIONSHIP COMES GREAT SEX. AND WE'RE TALKING GREAT SEX. SEX GOTTA BE LIKE WHAMMM! Now this depends on your partner, but when you are in love , you should be able to explore different boundries that neither of you had ever experienced. you should be this comfortable with your spouse. you see sex is one of the major factors in the recipe, without it, it almost taste bland. you gotta spice it up. do more than just the doggy style and lay on your back and its over. find your spouses spot to make them tingle, to make their toes curl. find that inner sensitivity arousal that makes them just want to yell from the mountain tops but without the york peppermint patty. and dress for the occasion. try to wear things that excite you both. you want the sex to be so damn good that your feeling it the next day. you want to wakeup and give yourself a pat on the back and say dayum we rocked the boat and knocked it out of the park last night baby. yep. so definitely blend this in. ok lets tie the recipe together

SOUP FOR 4 " ADD 4 CUPS OF LOVE "

NOW THAT WE'VE ESTABLISHED THE BASICS, ADD 4 CUPS OF LOVE TO THE MIXING BOWL. LOVE IS WHAT YOUR RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE RECIPE SHOULD BE BASED ON. SO MANY PEOPLE GO ABOUT THIS WRONG. YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP ON STRICTLY SEX, ALTHOUGH WE ALL CAN AGREE THAT IT CAN FEEL GOOD AS HELL, BUT YOU STILL CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP ON IT. aND YOU CERTAINLY CAN'T BASE IT ON TRYING TO BE HAPPY BY MAKING YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER HAPPY. THE PROBLEM WITH THIS IS YOU WILL GET LOST IN THE FOLD. YOU SEE SOMETIMES WE PUT OUR FEELINGS ASIDE JUST SO THAT WE CAN MAKE THE NEXT PERSONS FEELINGS OUR PRIORITY. SuRVEY SAYS ...HELL NO! this is a complete mistake. and believe me i've done this as well. what i had to learn was to first love myself. to love who i am had to come first. if i didn't love me and believe in myself. how was i suppose to share that love with another individual. you can't. you'll end up killing yourself trying to convince yourself that as long as she's happy i'm happy which is bull shit because if you're not happy, then the whole thing is a waste. love is one of those elements that takes two people to make it work while in a relationship. if both individuals aren't on the same page, you'll split quicker than a fedex package from the truck. so yes love one another , continue to fall in love with one another everyday. make it count.

SOUP FOR 4 " ADD 2 CUPS OF HONESTY BESURE TO STIR THIS IN

OK GRAB A LARGE MIXING SPOON AND STIR IN 2 CUPS OF HONESTY. BE SURE TO CONTINUE STIRRING WHILE ADDING THESE TWO CUPS. YOU HAVE TO USE 2 BECAUSE YOU WANT HONESTY FROM BOTH INDIVIDUALS IN THE RELATIONSHIP. HONESTY IS VERY IMPORTANT MORE SO BECAUSE MOST RELATIONSHIPS LACK IT. WOMEN, YOU FOUND IT HARD TO BELIEVE THAT THE GUY YOU WERE DATING SAID HE WORKED IN ONE PARTICULAR FIELD, COME TO FIND OUT HE WORKED CUTTING GRASS ON A FIELD. NOT THAT IT SHOULD MATTER BUT IT DOES DOESN'T IT. ALOT OF MEN LIE ABOUT WHAT THEY DO FOR A LIVING SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY TRY SO HARD TO IMPRESS THE WOMAN THAT THEY ARE TRYING TO DATE. MEN YOU FOUND IT HARD TO BELIEVE THAT THE LITTLE GIRL WHO WAS ALWAYS AROUND YOUR GIRLFRIENDS HOUSE WAS SAID TO BE HER NEICE WHEN IN REALITY IT WAS HER DAUGHTER , THE WHOLE DAMN TIME. THESE ARE JUST TWO EXAMPLES OF HOW DISHONEST BOTH MEN AND WOMEN CAN BE IN A RELATIONSHIP AND ITS IMPORTANT TO BE HONEST WITH ONE ANOTER FROM THE START. THIS WAY YOU AT LEAST HAVE A SOLID FOUNDATION TO BUILD ON. BY THIS POINT THE MIXTURE SHOULD START TO SHOW SOME CONSISTENCY. OK NEXT INGREDIENT

SOUP FOR 4 "ADD 1 CUP OF PATIENCE"

OK NOW THAT YOUR ALL CLEANED UP ADD ONE MEASURING CUP OF PATIENCE. YOU DEFINITELY WANT TO ADD THIS BECAUSE PATIENCE IS VERY KEY TO THIS RECIPE. YOU SEE MOST PEOPLE DON'T STOP TO THINK THAT RELATIONSHIPS ARE A GROWING PROCESS. NO MATTER HOW LONG YOU HAVE BEEN TOGETHER, YOU NEVER REALLY STOP LEARNING ABOUT ONE ANOTHER. ITS PART OF LIFE. AND WE ALL NEED TO LEARN TO BE PATIENT WITH ONE ANOTHER. ACCEPT THE FACT THAT WE ALL COME FROM DIFFERENT BACKROUNDS AND WERE BROUGHT UP WITH DIFFERENT BELIEFS AND MORALS. WHEN YOU PUT TWO INDIVIDUALS TOGETHER, THIS CAN BE THE COMPLETE AVENUE FOR SUCCESS. BRING DIFFERENT PARTS OF YOUR LIFE TO THE RELATIONSHIP. BUT YOU HAVE TO HAVE THE ABILITY TO WORK WITH ONE ANOTHER. TO RESPECT THAT, YES YOU ARE DIFFERENT BUT THATS WHAT ATTRACTED YOU TO ONE ANOTHER IN THE FIRST PLACE. I MEAN REALLY WHO WANTS TO DATE THEIR REFLECTION, YOU CAN LOOK AT A MIRROR FOR THAT. DIFFERENT DOESN'T ALWAYS MEAN NEGATIVE, DIFFERENT CAN BE POSITIVE IN SO MANY WAYS SO TAKE THE TIME TO LEARN ABOUT ONE ANOTHER. YES MEN , I'M TALKING TO YOU, THINK WITH THE HEAD ABOVE YOUR SHOULDERS, NOT THE ONE BELOW YOUR WASTE. YOU'LL BE SURPRISED AND AMAZED AT HOW WONDERFUL THAT WAY OF THINKING CAN BE.

OK NOW GRAB A LARGE MIXING SPOON BECAUSE WE HAVE TO STIR IN THE NEXT INGREDIENT.

SOUP FOR 4 , the ultimate recipe "first clean and prep the table"

many people look at me sometimes and say you must have the perfect marriage and i always laugh and say no way in hell man. marriage is as hard as anything else you can think of. its a full time job. with no vacations, no sick days , and no nocall/noshows. as a matter of fact its extremely hard. when i first decided i was ready for marriage i knew from the jump that i had to get myself together first. no way was i about to enter a marriage acting as crazy and as wild as i was back then. i can admit that. hell at 35 i think you should be able to. but as life went on for me i had to grow up. i ceratinly couldn't be that guy clubbing and hitting parties every weekend and spending so much damn money on girls who probably didn't give a shit about me. sad thing was i knew all of this. so i went through a dating hell man. but i think i needed to go through that because it taught me what i wanted and what i didn't want out of relationships. you see its easy for someone to fall in love and get married but its harder for someone to stay in love and stay married. so i decided to investigate this whole process and we're gonna do it by making my favorite soup for 4.

ok to start you gotta get a clean surface to work with.
you want to make sure that you are upfront and honest when entering a relationship or marrriage you don't want to spread any germs of any type. you want come clean about everything because what may not matter to you could very well matter to your significant other and you definitely have to respect that. honesty may not always be the best policy but it is a start to a brand new beginning. ok so as you wash your hands with warm water grab a big mixing bowl and we're going in next chapter

THE SEX THAT DOESN'T COUNT chapt 7

its funny sometimes how people view sex as just as physical action. you lust for eachother, you rip eachothers clothes off and you fuck till you both are exhausted from the best sex that you thought you ever had. until one day. sex comes back and bites you in the ass. you see sex is a form of power. together with someone you love it has the ability to make children, it has the ability to show love between two people as you climax and bite each others lips because at that moment no one else around you matters. but sex can also be dangerous, it can also be a power that destroys relationships as well as individuals. although mr. anderson was the asailant in this story he wasn't the one responisbile for this mess. it was the married man who had the ability to say no but didn't and look what happen. hmmmm as for the ending , i won't give it away, but i will say this,a rumor has it that she went off to spain and lived a very happy wealthy life. ha ha

ok

1 love goes to:
gotta say wasup to my home boy and best friend thomas yo, we gotta keep it going we gotta stay strong out here this is what we do

to my familia, lisa, elizabeth, joshua, you guys are awesome love you bunches lol

to the johnson family, hopefully i will catch up with you all soon enjoy the summer fam

to my philly peeps, gotta love south street and i'm comming back up there man

to all my twitter followers, if you tweet it they will follow

to my friends of course thanks for always thinking of the kid, much love

to my brother justin, always got your back bro, barnes fam forever

to my brother vincent and family , love you little bro, hopefully i will see you soon

to my adoptees, yes gotta have those once your a member of the familia your in baby

to my everyone i have forgotten to mention, 1 love

ok stay tuned for my next blog, soup for 4. your gonna love this recipe, i wrote something smiliar a while ago but this one is off the hook. coming up next yeah baby

THE SEX THAT DOESN'T COUNT chapt 6

your eyes were in disbelief you stood there solid as a rock, the whole event was horrific, right there infront of you was a body hanging from the sealing fan in your bedroom you quickly dropped to your knees. who could this be, who was it. who had killed themself in your bedroom. you slowly eased your way through the crowd of people that surrounded your bed, as you gotta a closer look at the individual hanging, you realized who it was , it was someone who had lived a lie from day one. someone who had no regards for another persons feelings, it was a reflection of everything that you had done. it was you. you see what you didn't realize was you in fact were dead.

below the body was a note that read. "i'm ashamed of what i've done. i can't go on knowing that i betrayed everyone and everything that i believed in" and now you won't have to. you see the shock of cheating on your wife and with a man at that drove you crazy , you couldn't live with yourself after that. you coudln't bare to face the people that knew you. so you decided that the best way for you to deal with it was to committ suicide and no one else would ever find out. well they all found out. and as for your wife.

well no one ever heard from her again. no one ever knew what happened to her and how this mr.anderson appeared in the first place. a few days later you were buried by friends and family. everyone thought that your wife was going to show at the funeral,she didn't but. instead in the distance was what appeared to be a woman. she never spoke to anyone there. she never looked up to let anyone see her face. she stood there for the whole ceremony and when the funeral was over she disappeared.

who was she, was it your wife, was it another woman you had in your life. was it mr. anderson? well i will let your imagination run away with that one.

ok lets close this out next chapter people

THE SEX THAT DOESN'T COUNT chapt 5

as you waddled out of the bathroom sick to your stomach, you were speechless as you continuously tried to call your wife as your calls went straight to voice mail. so many things ran through your mind. you wondered what the hell was going on. was it an affair but if it was, how could mr. anderson fuck you and your wife. pun intended. were you gay was she a homosexual. what did this say about the two of you. you were certainly confused as hell about the whole thing. you went up stairs sat in a corner and cried yourself asleep.

the next morning you woke up, freezing cold. it was wierd because the sun was shining bright outside and birds were chirping but yet you were freezing. you attempted to call your wife and this time instead of your call going to voice mail, you just got a busy signal. you started to panic. around you everything looked normal, but yet you were freezing cold as if you had just come in from out of a blizzard. you wrapped yourself in blankets and walked down the steps as you saw people just wandering through your house talking about what the house was worth. you started screaming and yelling but your voice sounded faint as no one responded to you. they just looked at you as if you weren't there. you ran though the house looking for your wife , maybey she had come back , maybey this was all a dream and you were just dying to wake up. but you didn't see her, you couldn't find her. there you stood , in your own house with a bunch of strangers that were walking past you as if they didn't know you. you couldn't grasp this reality so you headed upstairs back to your bedroom. as you opened up the door. you screamed at the sight you saw. there were sevral people looking at your bed. what were they staring at? what was going on. what made you scream so loudly. you started to shake. tears starting comming down your face. you couldn't believe it. there right infront of you stood the most horrific sight that you had ever seen in your life. it was right there in front of you, it was only a few feet away, it was....

ha ha next chapter people, don't you guys just love it when i do that lol

THE SEX THAT DOESN'T COUNT chapt 4

you opened the door to see who it was , but no one was there. but in the mail slot was an envelope that read open immediately. you brought it inside the house and quickly opened it and your eyes boggled your heart melted. inside the envelope were pictures that blew your mind. you knew you had recognized that face, you knew you had met that insurance rep before. and you had. the insurance rep mr. anderson, was indeed the girl from your job that you were searching for and the girl from your job that you were searching for was indeed mr. anderson. but there was another suprise that awaited you. as you flipped through the photos, you discovered one particular one where mr. anderson was naked and he had a penis. which meant that you actually slept with a man. you quickly went in denial. this couldn't be true. you weren't gay. you loved women. this couldn't have happened. but did you really pay attention , did you really look at what you were doing in that bathroom. you looked at the pictures again as they showed this guy, with a wig and a dress, and in plain clothes dressed as a guy as well as the naked photos that checked your chin. i mean damn how was this possible. but it was. you see sometimes sex can be a dangerous thing. you want it, you yearn for it, you crave it, and you tend not to pay attention. for instance you didn't notice the pill that was slipped into your coffee that sat on your desk in the morning. who really notices that anyway right. you didn't notice how she gave you oral sex but wouldn't allow you to give her oral sex. you didn't notice that although she was completely naked , she kept her panties on , all the way up until you put her on the bathroom counter. and you certainly didn't notice what she did to make you think that you were actually getting some pussy, but instead your dumbass was only getting male ass.

you felt sick to your stomach, you ran to the bathroom and vomitted for 20 minutes thinking it was the end of the world. as you looked at the pictures in disgrace you noticed a note that was attached that read, from a friend. you didn't know what to say. you though wow , look what i have done. then reality set in and you realized your wife had been gone for an hour and the store was only around the corner. you quickly called her on her cell phone and it went straight to voice mail. what was happeneing to you. well, if you thought things were bad now. in about 5 minutes they were about to get much much worse.

stay tuned for chapt. 5

THE SEX THAT DOESN'T COUNT chapt 3

as you walked through your front door your mouth dropped. you became frozen from the waste down, you couldn't believe it, there standing in your living room was a complete stranger another guy at that. you quickly began to get angry. so many thoughts ran through your mind. could your wife be having an affair on you, could this be a burgular in your home, if indeed your wife was having an affair did you have a right to get upset. you paused for about 30 seconds and yelled out the words "who the hell are you?" the gentleman introduced himself as mr. anderson. he explained that he was the home insurance rep that you and your wife had made an appointment with that evening to go over a quote for a new policy. you then suddenly remembered that your wife had reminded you of this appointment last night. but maybey you just had forgotten about it because it was only a few hours ago that you believed that you had the fuck of your life.

your cell phone rings and its your wife. she tells you that she will be there in 5 minutes and that the insurance guy should be on his way. you then thought that everything was ok. for that moment you seemed to put your mind at ease. you offered mr. anderson something to drink as he spoke with a very soft voice , you couldn't help but think that you knew him from somewhere. so you asked him if you had both met each other before. he of course said no not that he knew of. but this bothered you because you were the type to never forget a face. you swore you knew this guy from somewhere and you just couldn't place it.

a few minutes later your wife arrives home greets mr. anderson and runs quickly up the steps to get her check book and purse. the two of you go over the figures and agree to the terms and signed the papers for the new policy. as you both were seeing mr. anderson out , you asked your wife if the two of you had met him before, and she said no. being as confused as you normally were you let it go at that. your wife quickly told you that she had to run to the store to get some things for dinner. as you turned up the steps to take a shower, you couldn't help but pause and ask yourself if you should tell her. you knew that what you did was wrong and it was eating you up inside. as you got into the shower you peeked out the window to watch your wife drive away but she didn't. her car was still in the driveway. but mr. andersons car was gone.

suddenly your doorbell rung, and to your suprise you had an unexpecting visitor.

wondering who it is, you gotta wait till chapt 4 ha ha